Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
