I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
