if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
