Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
