Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have feelings that need drinking.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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