i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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