You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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