Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
