Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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