Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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