im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
