you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
