you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
