So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
