Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
