Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she peed on how many people?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
