So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
