she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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