I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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