So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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