roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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