all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
