Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
