there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
