I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
