apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
