Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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