Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hateyourface hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(240): View more from Maryland

How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?

Fav 6 872 1672
share tweet
(563): View more from Iowa

i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

Fav 12 1169 874
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

Fav 49 1059 6529
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes

Fav 10 4561 1209
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

Fav 13 4868 1285
share tweet
(585): View more from New York

She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

Fav 44 7184 2077
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.

Fav 11 1106 3284
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.

Fav 1 105 220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.

Fav 0 52 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT