$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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