There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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