Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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