she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
