You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
