There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
His nipple licking is glorious
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
