don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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