i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Church boner. Awkwardddd
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
