R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
