how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
