So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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