She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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