I am in a vortex of obligation.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
