I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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