The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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