So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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