Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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