Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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