oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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