He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
