The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
