I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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