just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
